Built for the Wait

For a long time, I’ve wanted to create something of my own (beyond my two wonderful sons, of course).

Something tangible, from the ground up, and to reflect how I think and what I care about. Also, things I’d be proud to put into the world.

That’s what Newthos is.

Honestly, writing this feels awkward. But, awkward hasn't stopped me before. My whole being is awkward. 

I’ve spent many years taking a practical route; Holding steady, doing what needed to be done, while carrying this quieter (or impulsive blurt-it-out) part of me that kept nagging, “are you ever going to stop waiting and actually do this?”

This started long before Newthos had a name

I didn’t have language for any of this back then. I only knew I like making things happen.

As a kid, I used to run around the house collecting random stuff, drag it into my room, and basically turn the place into my own little store. Pretend money, fake checks, coins, and an absurd stack of million-dollar bills in a plastic drawer. Looking back, it’s ridiculous.

I liked creating little systems. Funny how ordinary things can be more interesting when organized or brought together in the right way.

Another turning point came when Nana Newton left a small amount to each grandkid. Right or wrong, my parents agreed when I was around 14, I could use it to buy a desktop computer for my room. That privilege, luck, and access I've been afforded is real. And, it's not lost on me.

This was a time when online gaming was opening up in a major way. Gamers across the globe were talking through headsets, building friendships through games and conversations. I was way younger than I should have been in those spaces, but it pulled me in fast, and I'm thankful for how it shaped me.

Some folks I met through gaming and AIM were web developers. And for whatever reason, they took time to answer an onslaught of AIM questions from ThunderPlaya88, put up with my curiosity, and help me learn. Through late nights, summers at home, bootleg versions of Adobe Photoshop, message board overload, web research, trial and error, and tons, tons, tons of asking questions: I learned how to code and build websites from nothing but an empty notepad files, image/graphics, and my local machine.

At the time, it mostly felt interesting. Or, like magic: "Oh, if I do X, then Y appears on the screen... cool!" 

Later, I realized it quietly shaped my next steps. What became my future in internet, software, and marketing really started there. Not a grand career plan. I was never an excellent student. Quite the contrary, in fact. But, from curiosity, privilege/access, and other people being patient, generous, and selfless to help me figure things out.

Undergrad, an MBA, two boys, and plenty of life lessons and extracurriculars in between — all of that influences me too. But honestly, those early years in front of my PC — building, learning, staying up until 4 a.m., getting obsessed with how things were made — that’s where a lot of this spirit behind Newthos was born.

The Clockwork Dream

When I say I’ve usually taken the practical route, I don’t say it with regret. It is pride, some justification, and a little anxiety management too.

Up to this point, I’ve built a steady livelihood. I’ve been able to provide for myself and my two boys consistently, and I'm young enough to still be a dreamer, and old enough to have experiences worth a salt.

Through and through, I’ve been risk-averse, usually trying to balance heart, logic, and whatever the moment in front of me required (or what other people needed from me).

A lot of that was love.
A lot of that was responsibility.
I had to be a grown man, not a drifting idea machine chasing every squirrel.

It all mattered (and it still matters today, just somewhat differently).

But underneath all of that, for years, it felt like I was standing on a sideline getting restless. Like, okay, I understand why I’m waiting... but am I ever actually going to stop waiting?

One thought I’ve kept coming back to is this:

Patience and avoidance can look way too similar.

The clash of shame and ego

I know what it feels like to think too highly of myself.

I also know what it feels like to wonder whether I’m good enough at all.

I’ve been both. Sometimes embarrassingly both.

There are times my ego gets way, way, way out ahead of me. Inversely, there are moments I question myself so much I can barely tell what's real. Do I actually have something to offer, do I belong in the room, am I capable?

The emotional swing is intense.

An unpredictable weekly wrestling match between confidence and doubt. Often, both heckling me at once.

"You’ve got something here."
"Wait, who exactly do you think you are?"

I know this tension well enough not to pretend Newthos is a perfectly healed, centered, fully certain place. It’s not. But, I’m not starting because I have everything figured out. I’m starting because I’m tired of waiting to feel fully ready.

Fully ready is probably never coming. I haven’t made it, and I haven’t cracked some secret code. I've just reached a point where doing, trying, and becoming feels better than waiting for certainty to strike.

Enough about me. Here's what actually matters.

Yes, much of this is personal. Obviously.

But if Newthos only solves something for me, then it’s not enough. It must create something useful, meaningful, enjoyable, or valuable for others.

Newthos is building things that earn their place in people’s lives. Projects that create value, convenience, clarity, joy, connection, relief, momentum, or some meaning or value. Sometimes it will be practical. Sometimes playful. Sometimes harder to explain until you experience it for yourself.

That’s the standard.

So yes, some strategic and marketing work may help fund the build in the near term.

Currently under development is a beta consumer product slated for a beta launch in Fall 2026. Additionally, there's an offering taking shape to help individuals or teams create more clarity, stronger alignment, and better decisions, with technology supporting the process, not replacing people in it.

And there’s a business-facing offering taking shape too — something designed to help teams create more clarity, stronger alignment, and better decisions, with AI helping support the process, not replace the people in it.

In all projects, we will follow scientific methods: observe, question/hypothesize, test, analyze, share out, repeat.

I’m not ready to overshare every detail yet. But, more info will emerge soon.

I want to be clear: this is not a story about me finally chasing something. It’s an honest attempt to create products and experiences to make life richer, fuller, more useful, interesting, or more human.

Only then is when any of this is worth something.

We are the sum of all the people we’ve ever met.

This quote lives rent free in my head ever since Sylvester Stalone said it in an Oscar speech. It's so true.

I am:
The people who answered my questions.
The people who challenged me.
The people who gave me space to stumble.
The people who believed in me.
The people who didn’t.
The people who sharpened me.
The people who humbled me.
The people who helped me see more clearly who I am and who I don’t want to be.

Newthos will have my fingerprints all over it. But, it will not be built by me alone.

People build people. Then people build things.

That may be the clearest reason I’m doing this at all.

I want to try to build something worthy of what so many people have poured into me, whether they meant to or not. And after too much time carrying ideas around, overthinking timing, and letting “later” do too much of the talking, this finally feels like the right moment to stop waiting and find out.

So this is Newthos.

Early. Imperfect. A little awkward. And only as good as those who have shaped me, and those who will help shape what it becomes.

Comments welcome below

If you feel like sharing, here are a few things I’d genuinely love to hear:

• What’s something you’ve been carrying for a long time you haven’t fully given a chance yet?

• Where in your life have patience and avoidance looked a little too similar?

• Who are the people who shaped you more than they probably realized?

• What kind of product, tool, or experience do you wish existed that would genuinely make life better?

• If you’re building something too, what is it?

Feel free to drop a note in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.